Students Of Success

In the past, we might have had the idea that learning is
something that occurs during the earlier stages of life, and
finishes when our formal schooling ends. Now we know that this
is far from true - learning really is a lifelong process. Here
are some tips to help you improve learning, whether formal (at
school) or informal.

1. To improve learning, keep in mind that the one benefiting
from your learning is you. Tell yourself every day that this is
true; keep this idea foremost in your mind. Why? We all learn
and work better when we are motivated, and our own well-being is
one of the most powerful motivators. If you tell yourself that
learning is work that you undertake on your own behalf, chances
are you will have a positive attitude toward the work.

2. Repeat what you have learned. To improve learning, keep in
mind that hearing or reading something only once is very seldom
enough. If you learn something in class, repeat it to yourself
later in the day, or write it down. This helps you to form
pathways in the mind that will allow you to access this
information whenever you need it.

3. Ask questions. This is a way to improve learning by making
the material you have learned your very own. People learn in
differnt ways, so in a school or work setting, those in charge
have to decide on a method that will work for most people. If it
doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t mean that you lack the capacity
to understand what is being taught. It just means you have to
approach it in a slightly different way.

4. Talk about what you have learned. When you learn something in
school or on the job, be sure to talk about it with your
friendd, familiy and colleagues. This is a very potent way to
improve learning, because we all remember things better when
there is repetition. Also, the very act of explaining something
to others can improve your own understanding of it a great deal.

5. Take care of yourself. Finally, one of the most important
ways that you can improve learning is by taking care of your
physical wellbeing - get enough rest and exercise, in other
words, and take care of your health. If you do so, you will have
the mental clarity necessary to learn almost anything that is
required.

The end of our 20th Century and the beginning of the 21st found me living in intentional community in Oregon. There, amongst socially responsible, if not cutting-edge innovators in sustainable living, I found myself having to deal with my own incredible lack of concern about things going on in the greater world around me. For five years, while living at a hub of activism, I let the world take care of itself, and continue to do so today. Some call that apathy.

It started with that impending nationwide glitch called Y2K. While so many of the people around me were stockpiling food and water and building networks of cooperation, not to mention paranoia, I went about the business of running the community’s conference center. Did I concern myself about the impending threat and rally with them? Not a whit. Around the same time, the WTO Seattle protests found busloads of my friends traveling about 150 miles to get suppressed by the Police State, and I didn’t blink.

Then, some guy named Gore did blink in a showdown with a guy named Bush, and it was all a big Ho-hum, business-as-usual thing to me. Shortly thereafter, the World Trade Center got slammed, and, of course, at first appalled, within a short period of time I came to the conclusion that the bigwigs were using the whole mess to set something up for something that I wasn’t in the know enough to understand, let alone affect. Sure enough, the Iraq war (?) sprung from those loins and then occupation came and continues, and, outside of a cursory wonderment, I have no cry of outrage in me.

These are things that happen like many other things that happen throughout the world that I choose not to concern myself with anymore. The list seems endless. Yet, apathy is a pretty strong word to use to describe myself. How then, knowing that my life is about activism, could I live with my apathy?

The world I was born into was in the grip of forces that were beyond my reach. At ten years old, the Cuban Missile Crisis occurred. Daily, for weeks on end, we’d “duck and cover,” practicing how to protect ourselves (!) in the event of nuclear attack. Once a week we’d have what I’d call “Hellfire Drills” where we’d be directed to silently file down into our concrete bunker-like basement and await an all-clear signal, which, depending upon the sadism factor of the nuns that day, would come quickly or excruciatingly slowly.

Every day for years, the noon air-raid sirens wailed and the radio regularly blared out an ominous tone, followed, at its cessation, by the message, “The foregoing was a test!” I’d have waves of apprehension commencing when I’d hear a plane overhead. The knowledge, drilled in to my bones, was that death would come from above. It doesn’t matter that with each report of danger there was an associated report of how our “resolve” would save the day, death was on its way. Period.

I fully expected the tension between Russia and my own country to explode in everyone’s face, much as I had been witness to countless explosions between my own parents. By the time I was six I figured out that adults, as a whole, were out of their minds and did not have the love in them to avoid destroying everything in my world, from top to bottom.

In my own home, Mother was poised to go berserk at any moment. At school, the Nuns laid in wait for me to do anything wrong as an excuse to whack the pointer on my butt. And then, in the news, Nikita Khrushchev armed with God-knows how many nuclear warheads was looking for any excuse to obliterate my neighborhood, which happened to be in Brooklyn, close enough to Manhattan for horseshoes.

When I was in my thirties, I started to really delve into my childhood experiences. The word that kept coming up for me was grief. It was personal grief, of course, but on the larger scale, grief about living in a world of moment-to-moment uncertainty. I really wasn’t gonna get to see a whole lot in my life because the USSR was out to get us and we were willing to retaliate unto total annihilation. History had brought us to the place where we were so well-armed that it was only a matter of time before we eradicated everything. I was convinced we truly were an experiment that failed.

As a child I was asked to make a decision that most people don’t face until they are adults. I had no doubt that the world was going to end, though I didn’t know when. So the central question of my life became, “How am I going to do this thing called life between now and when?

Next: A simple concept.

Russ Reina shares over 35 years of experience in the healing arts through his web site http://mauihealingartist.com It is a potent resource for those wishing to deepen their abilities in connection and develop their powers as healers. For a powerful free tool to explore your inner world, please check out his adjunct site http://thestoryofthis.net (Permission is granted to reprint this article, unedited, provided proper attribution is made and the signature line — the above resource paragraph — is kept intact)

Obsessive-compulsive disorder: A psychiatric disorder
characterized by obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions, such
as cleaning, checking, counting, or hoarding.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), one of the anxiety
disorders, is a potentially disabling condition that can persist
throughout a person’s life. The individual who suffers from OCD
becomes trapped in a pattern of repetitive thoughts and
behaviors that are senseless and distressing but extremely
difficult to overcome. OCD occurs in a spectrum from mild to
severe, but if severe and left untreated, can destroy a person’s
capacity to function at work, at school, or even in the home.

The obsessions are unwanted ideas or impulses that repeatedly
well up in the mind of the person with OCD. Persistent fears
that harm may come to self or a loved one, an unreasonable
concern with becoming contaminated, or an excessive need to do
things correctly or perfectly, are common. Again and again, the
individual experiences a disturbing thought, such as, “My hands
may be contaminated–I must wash them”; “I may have left the gas
on”; or “I am going to injure my child.” These thoughts are
intrusive, unpleasant, and produce a high degree of anxiety.
Sometimes the obsessions are of a violent or a sexual nature, or
concern illness.

In response to their obsessions, most people with OCD resort to
repetitive behaviors called compulsions. The most common of
these are washing and checking. Other compulsive behaviors
include counting (often while performing another compulsive
action such as hand washing), repeating, hoarding, and endlessly
rearranging objects in an effort to keep them in precise
alignment with each other. Mental problems, such as mentally
repeating phrases, listmaking, or checking are also common.
These behaviors generally are intended to ward off harm to the
person with OCD or others. Some people with OCD have regimented
rituals while others have rituals that are complex and changing.
Performing rituals may give the person with OCD some relief from
anxiety, but it is only temporary.

The old belief that OCD was the result of life experiences has
been weakened by the growing evidence that biological factors
are a primary contributor to the disorder. The fact that OCD
patients respond well to specific medications that affect the
neurotransmitter serotonin suggests the disorder has a
neurobiological basis.

OCD is sometimes accompanied by depression, eating disorders,
substance abuse disorder, a personality disorder, attention
deficit disorder, or another of the anxiety disorders.
Co-existing disorders can make OCD more difficult both to
diagnose and to treat.

Treatment is by cognitive behavioral therapy and/or medication.
One patient may benefit significantly from behavior therapy,
while another will benefit from pharmacotherapy. Some others may
use both medication and behavior therapy. Others may begin with
medication to gain control over their symptoms and then continue
with behavior therapy.

The neurotransmitter serotonin can significantly decrease the
symptoms of OCD. The first serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SRI)
specifically approved for the use in the treatment of OCD was
the tricyclic antidepressant clomipramine (AnafranilR). It was
followed by fluoxetine (ProzacR), fluvoxamine (LuvoxR), and
paroxetine (PaxilR). Large studies have shown that more than
three-quarters of patients are helped by these medications. And
in more than half of patients, medications relieve symptoms of
OCD by diminishing the frequency and intensity of the obsessions
and compulsions. Improvement usually takes at least three weeks
or longer. If a patient does not respond well to one of these
medications, or has unacceptable side effects, another SRI may
give a better response. Medications are of help in controlling
the symptoms of OCD, but often, if the medication is
discontinued, relapse will follow. Indeed, even after symptoms
have subsided, most people will need to continue with medication
indefinitely, perhaps with a lowered dosage.

Traditional psychotherapy, aimed at helping the patient develop
insight into his or her problem, is generally not helpful for
OCD. However, a specific behavior therapy approach called
“exposure and response prevention” is effective for many people
with OCD. In this approach, the patient deliberately and
voluntarily confronts the feared object or idea, either directly
or by imagination. At the same time the patient is strongly
encouraged to refrain from ritualizing, with support and
structure provided by the therapist, and possibly by others whom
the patient recruits for assistance. For example, a compulsive
hand washer may be encouraged to touch an object believed to be
contaminated, and then urged to avoid washing for several hours
until the anxiety provoked has greatly decreased. Treatment then
proceeds on a step-by-step basis, guided by the patient’s
ability to tolerate the anxiety and control the rituals. As
treatment progresses, most patients gradually experience less
anxiety from the obsessive thoughts and are able to resist the
compulsive urges.

Studies of behavior therapy for OCD have found it to be a
successful treatment for the majority of patients who complete
it. For the treatment to be successful, it is important that the
therapist be fully trained to provide this specific form of
therapy. It is also helpful for the patient to be highly
motivated and have a positive, determined attitude. The positive
effects of behavior therapy endure once treatment has ended.

It is true that forms of depression cannot be avoided, although, it has also been proved that a healthy life style can play a major role in alleviating depression or even preventing some forms from even occurring. Mild types of depression can develop from poor diet and nutrition. Lack of exercises, stress, poor, little, or no sleep, traveling, lack of necessities, withdrawl from an addiction, and lack of sunlight have also been linked to some cases of depression.

There are many natural ways of relieving depression, but like i said, it can be prevented by a proper life style and diet. Here are 2 all natural and healthy methods in preventing depression and alleviating it.

Herbal remedies for depression:

-2 Parts St-John’s-Wart (Hypericum Perforatum)

-1 Part Oat (Avena Sativa)

-1 Part Lavender (Lavandula Officinalis)

-1 Part Mugwort (Artemisia Vulgaris)

Take this mixture in 5mL servings three times a day.

Depressive symptoms are exacerbated by nutrition deficiencies, there for a well-balanced diet is important to
insure the proper daily intake of vitamins and minerals.

Supplement Remedies for depression:

-Vitamin B Complex - 400 mcg/day

-Folic Acid - 400 mcg/day

-S-Adenosylmethionine - 800mg/2x day

-Selenium - 100 mcg/day

Recommended daily dose of the amino acid supplement L-tryptaphon. This amino acid is known to increase the
synthesis of serotonin and in turn relieve depression. L-tryptaphon is found in foods such as turkey, chicken,
fish, soybeans, cooked dried beans, peas, yeast, and peanut butter. The proper intake of carbs should also be
taken to help the brains uptake of L-tryptaphon.

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Tyler D Falls - Info researcher

The symptoms of a depressed person are sometimes obvious and sometimes not so much so. You have learned to recognize the signs in your boyfriend or girlfriend and you know when they are about to enter a mood swing, or when they are getting very depressed and you know how to handle that. You are becoming an expert in dealing with their problems. However, you also need to know when to recognize that these problems are harming you.

In order to make sure that you are not being harmed by your significant other’s depression, you should watch for your own symptoms. While you may not become clinically depressed, you might find that you start to suffer from situational depression. You may also start to suffer from exhaustion, if your lover’s condition is worse at the moment. You need to make sure that you are cognizant of this possibility and are looking out for yourself at the same time. To make sure that you keep yourself healthy, you should make sure that you are able to put some distance between yourself and your significant other’s symptoms. If you get yourself too wrapped up in their condition then you will find yourself fighting against your instinct to protect yourself. Protecting yourself from getting hurt is important because if you are trying to be there for your significant other, then you should also be sure to be there for yourself. No one is served by you being so stressed out that you cannot make time for anybody else. Make sure you look for symptoms in yourself so that you are aware when things come up.

Learn to alleviate your depression at http://www.curemydepression.com

What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let’s face it, it’s hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.

We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level, but how we are feeling is what really counts. In that place we call Grief & Loss, is where pain dominates our life and where suffering is the paramount teacher. This is really difficult, and we know it only too well at times like these. We go there because we have to, but we try hard to escape, as soon as possible.

What is necessary now to get through to the end of this process? Is it simply a matter of toughing it out, or, do we have to dredge and dig and pummel ourselves along the way? It’s hard to be sure what we must do at such times.

All those Gurus that say “do it this way or that way,” are they capable of handling it themselves? As a survivor, going through grief, I would want to know that, wouldn’t you? The essence of false advertising is “never having been there yourself,” is it not? Absolutely, this we all know without a doubt.

So what do we require then to move through this landscape called Grief & Loss? We seem to know this at some level, don’t we? We seem to know that deep down where our sorrows dwell, there is an inescapable reality. We have to feel this. Oh yes, it’s an ugly fact, but true nevertheless. We have to feel this pain in order to exorcise it from our bodies. Yes, we have to feel it, so we can learn that this too is survivable. Isn’t that the most important thing in all such activities – to know where you are at in your own heart when you finally get to the truth?

This truth I talk about is your truth, that feeling in your gut when you know you are right. Since this is your truth, then only You can determine its validity for yourself. No guru can ever take you there. Because deep down, this is your “house,” your well-spring of creative experience. What happens here defines your life, tells you who you are and, right now, what you have to suffer at times of grief and loss.

To some that may seem sad though, to arrive in this “feeling” place where grief has brought you. But is it really? Perhaps it’s a better thing than you imagined, this place where truth resides within. Perhaps it’s more than you ever bargained for. Sure, grief brought you here, but what else goes on in this place of tender emotion? How about looking around, since you’re already here?

These are your life lessons after all, to have and to hold, until your truths can be borne. How could you ever have a guru do that for you? No such luck! You have to do it yourself. But what a fantastic opportunity to get to know yourself better, to live deep inside your own heart and soul while this grieving process goes on around you.

Let me assure you that you will survive. You will overcome these tragic effects. Because there is truth in there where you live. And that truth will take you somewhere important - for you! This is Your Truth, remember, and only you can assess, experience and benefit from the effects it will have upon you.

So do it! Allow yourself to descend to where it hurts and find out for yourself what this experience of grief and loss is, and what it can teach you that might correct your misperceptions about Life, Love & Purpose. Yes, you have access to the truth, just as I do, just as we all do. As these lessons arrive, they are yours for the taking. We all get them. Grief and Loss are but one more avenue to help us get to our very own Truth. Yes, the suffering will eventually pass, but the Truth – well, that’s forever!

Maurice Turmel PhD is the author of “Parables on Grief & Loss” and “Parables for a Modern Age.” He was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years, and is now an Author, Speaker and Performing Songwriter, all on the subjects of Personal Growth, Creative Self-Expression and dealing with Grief & Loss. He can be reached at drmoe@mauriceturmel.com or, through his Website at: http://www.mauriceturmel.com

I suspect most folks do not like to argue. I know, some people are really good at it, and some people seem to enjoy conflict. But the vast majority of us would rather not fight with the ones we love.

I am the type of person who wants to stick with a fight/argument/disagreement (pick your favorite term) until it is settled. I think if I keep after it, my logic and desires will surely prevail.

So I was very interested to learn about some research on arguing from The Gottman Institute in Seattle. In case you don’t know the Institute, or its founder John Gottman, it is a research center focused on couples and the ways they interact. The Gottman Institute has an apartment set up with microphones and cameras, where couples stay for the weekend. While they are there, their actions and interactions are recorded, then studied.

When people argue, they get anxious or upset, and their heart rate increases. The Gottman researchers found that if your heart rate is over 100 beats per minute, you cannot think flexibly, negotiate, or solve problems very well. So they suggest that couples take a break from each other and the issue - say 15 minutes or so - and come back together at a designated time to resolve the issue. This break allows your heart rate to go down and makes resolving problems easier. Couples that practice this “time out” technique have more successful resolutions.

So… folks like me who want to stick with the disagreement until it is worked out are actually being counter-productive. We need to step away, take a walk, water the plants, do the dishes, whatever works. Then, at an agreed time, come back together to work on the problem.

© 2006 Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCC - All Rights Reserved Worldwide

Cynthia McKenna LPC, NCC http://CynthiaMcKennaCounseling.com is a therapist and life-coach who helps people have more joy and peace in daily living. Cynthia works with clients throughout the country via phone and email. She also sees clients in her Texas Hill Country office.

Schedule and appointment, sign up for her e-newsletter, or request more information hereContact Cynthia McKenna

Check out Cynthia McKenna’s Blog: CounselingBlog

Nancy was doing very well until about two years ago when Phil, her boyfriend of 9 years, broke-up with her. It was a difficult moment for her especially after she learned that Phil eventually married her cousin. Since then, Nancy had deteriorated. One evening, she was involved in a motor vehicular accident because she was driving fast and recklessly in a quiet suburban neighborhood.

During interrogation, the cops noted that Nancy was talking rapidly and nobody could interrupt her. Also, she was making jokes and laughing so loud. She further indicated to them that she was on her way to meet the President and his top officials about her invention that could cure the oil crunch. She eventually ended up in the emergency room where she was diagnosed and treated for bipolar disorder after intensive evaluation.

Bipolar disorder or manic-depression is manifested by highs and lows. When a patient like Nancy is on the manic side, there is a persistent feeling of euphoria or irritability associated with lack of need for sleep, excessive energy, agitation, fast and loud speech, increase in goal-directed activities such as spending sprees and establishing businesses with no appropriate plan, and hypersexuality.

Patients with this disorder develop poor judgment and impulsivity. They become irritable and can lash out easily even if not provoked. Some patients have delusions of grandeur. When this happens, patients think that they have special powers, talents, and influence.

When not manic, patients either feel normal or depressed. Depression in bipolar disorder has the same manifestation as major depression that consists of feelings of sadness associated with neurovegetative signs and symptoms such as inability to sleep, eat, and concentrate. Energy level is also impaired. In addition, patients experience a feeling of hopelessness, worthlessness, and helplessness. Suicidal ideation may ensue.

For individuals who develop mania, does it always mean that they suffer from bipolar disorder?

Not necessarily. Mania can be caused by various medical and neurologic conditions. For instance, multiple sclerosis and stroke can present with manic symptoms. Moreover, medications and street drugs may precipitate mania. Steroids, cocaine, and amphetamine are some examples. Even some antidepressants can induce mania.

So when a person shows mania, the physician usually does intensive evaluation to rule out medical, neurologic, and medication-induced conditions before diagnosing bipolar disorder. This process is important because the treatment varies depending upon the cause. Once other conditions are ruled out, then bipolar disorder can be safely diagnosed and treated.

Copyright © 2004. Dr. Michael G. Rayel – author (First Aid to Mental Illness–Finalist, Reader’s Preference Choice Award 2002) psychiatrist, and inventor of Oikos Game: An EQ Game. For info, visit http://www.oikosgame.com and http://www.soardime.com

1. When words are about to be spoken in anger and might be regretted.

2. When it has been said before and is not worth repeating.

3. To justify one’s behaviour, of which one is not proud, by citing someone
else’s.

4. To avoid inflicting unconstructive criticism.

5. When silence resonates and words are empty.

6. When honourable actions are more expressive than words.

7. After indicating graciously that the question oversteps one’s boundaries.

8. When the moment is perfect without words.

9. When the heart is full and speaking would be a drain.

10. When to speak would only be to boast.

Copyright CoachVille

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Martin Sawdon of Coaching-Works! has a passion for the creation of super-successful organizations - Sustainable Workplaces™. As a coach he has been described as a velvet-gloved bulldozer and as a speaker, powerful, engaging, outstanding.

To learn more about Martin and Sustainable Workplaces™, Sustainable Relationships, and the Sustainable You, visit his website ==>http://www.coachingworks.ca

The Great Library of Alexandria once held the wisdom of the
ancient world. When it burned down, billions of invaluable
thoughts perished. One book, however, survived. Since it wasn’t
considered a valuable book, a poor man bought it for a few
coppers. He was not very literate and thought the book dull. The
only thing of interest to him was a thin strip of vellum.
Written on it was the secret known as the “Touchstone.”

The touchstone, the writing on the vellum strip explained, was a
small pebble with magical powers. The pebble could turn any
common metal into pure gold. Unfortunately, this pebble looked
exactly like any other on the shores of the Black Sea. But the
secret was that the touchstone would feel extraordinarily warm.
Ordinary pebbles, by contrast, were relatively cold.

In a matter of days after purchasing the book, the man had
hastily sold his few belongings. He used the money to buy some
simple supplies for his travel to the shores of the Black Sea.

He began testing pebbles on the first day he arrived. He devised
a simple but effective plan to avoid picking up the same pebble
over again. When he picked up a cold pebble, he would throw it
into the sea.

Years passed. Every day, he picked up pebbles and threw them
into the sea. He made his living by fishing and spent his nights
sleeping under his torn, damp blanket on the cold beach. With
each pebble that he threw into the sea, his hopes diminished.
One day, one fine day, indistinguishable from the blur of other
days that had passed before, he picked up a pebble, a warm
pebble, an extraordinarily warm pebble–and threw it into the
sea.

The Success Principle

Your mind, once filled with inspiration, can become dull and
useless once you lose touch with your attention and awareness.

The Principle at Work

In the parable, after years of picking up pebbles and throwing
them into the sea, his mind had become dull with conditioning,
his motion of throwing automatic. Lulled into habit, his senses
had become dull, his sense of discrimination tarnished. Because
he had become the slave of autonomic responses, he lost what he
had spent years looking for.

The poor man ended up becoming poorer still–although he had
found a secret which would have made him fabulously rich. He
should have succeeded because he followed numerous success
principles. He took a risk when he bought the book. He focused
on its most vital information. He acted on this information by
gathering his resources and heading out to the scene of the
action.

On the shore, he devised a simple and elegant strategy. And,
with single-minded intensity, he persisted, working on his
chosen task methodically, relentlessly.

He made only one single mistake: he succumbed to habit and he
did not think about what he was doing. His attention had
wavered, his focus lost. His loss of awareness was his undoing.

Awareness, then, is the key ingredient to making all the success
principles come to life.

You can do everything right but still fail if your mind has lost
its sharpness and become dulled by routine.

The hero of the story had no-one and nothing to blame but
himself, and his only failing was that he had failed to be
awake, alert to his golden moment. Similarly, we are all
responsible for ourselves, and cannot blame others for our loss
of opportunity. It is our alertness, our depth of awareness that
makes for success or failure, happiness or despair.