Students Of Success

Have you ever been irritated because your spouse does things differently than you do? Do you get upset if he or she has different opinions and makes different choices than you would? If so, you have bumped up against some of your own personal control issues and triggers in your marriage. Here are three important points to consider:

1. Fear underlies control issues.

Control issues cause problems in many marriages. The feelings you experience at those times can be very intense and may include rage at the other person. Most people feel more secure when others around them mirror their opinions, beliefs, and choices. Your safety needs and fears contribute to your wanting others to be just like you. The old adage, “There is safety in numbers,” refers to this primitive fear of standing alone.

Also, many people feel more in control when they can predict the behavior of others and when others meet their expectations. Then they don’t have to experience the discomfort of growing, changing, or stretching themselves. Instead, they can pretend that their world is logical, orderly, predictable, and safe.

2. Thinking your spouse should be just like you harms your marriage.

Your control issues are also triggered by viewing your spouse as an extension of yourself. This perception can result in trying to dictate which clothes your spouse wears, how she wears her hair, who she is friends with, what political views she holds, and what she can or cannot do. While your spouse may initially make some changes trying to keep the peace, you are creating a parent-child dynamic in your relationship that will eventually foster rebellion and resentment.

3. Using insults and name calling are attempts to regain control.

While nothing sinister is involved in many control issues in relationships, pathological behavior can be triggered in some instances. For example, a partner who is angry that the spouse did not follow his dictates could become physically and emotionally abusive. The partner may think he has the right to “punish” the other person. Name calling and derogatory put-downs, such as “What a stupid thing to do,” are often used to re-establish control over the other person.

It’s easy to point a finger at your spouse and to state that he or she needs to change. It’s hard to face your own unresolved issues head-on and take responsibility for how you need to change. As you become more aware of control issues in your marriage, the starting place for change is always with yourself and your response to what is happening.

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says “I don’t love you anymore!” This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

Nearly everyone today has been educated on the benefits of getting regular exercise. Yet still there are an average of sixty percent of American adults not getting enough exercise, while twenty-five percent of the population isn’t active at all. Whether this comes in the form of housecleaning for an hour or strength training at the gym–exercise keeps your muscles strong, your heart strong, and your body in shape. You may find that having home gym equipment to exercise on is a great way of staying active so that you can stay healthy.

Doctors have found that the more active you are the healthier you are in many studies. There is a direct correlation between physical activity on that home gym equipment and a lowered risk of diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, colon cancer, and muscle, bone and joint problems. Also if this wasn’t all ready enough to have you looking up home gym equipment reviews on the internet, exercise can literally make you feel better mentally and emotionally.

Plus you don’t have to exercise for hours a day every day of the week to receive these benefits. Most doctors suggest that you exercise three to five times a week for about a half an hour each time to remain happy and healthy. On a piece of your home gym equipment that’s only one and a half to two and a half hours of exercise each week. More than likely you’ll get addicted to the exercise once you get into a routine and end up exercising more than that on a weekly basis.

Anyone can benefit from the exercise that they get from using home gym equipment. As mentioned previously there are many home gym equipment reviews available online for you to look at in order to get an understanding of the wide variety and availability of home gym equipment on the market.

Read more home gym equipment articles and home gym equipment reviews news or visit our home gym equipment site.

The NFL admits that Pete Morelli made a mistake of reversing the interception made my Troy Polamalu. This coming from Mike Pereira, the league’s vice president of officiating.

According to the official, the rule of having to make a football move to establish a catch is only in effect if contact is made with a defensive player. Nobody had touched Troy Polamalu and there was a long enough amount of time established to call it an interception.

I say the NFL is not doing enough. There were several other plays that the officials should admit to wrongdoing. The false start play where both teams were drawn offsides and no call was made. The Steelers player twitched and therefore a false start should have been called on the Steelers but the officials did not see a false start on the Steelers. If this was the case, then they should have called the Colts offsides. But they did not, they blew the call.

There was also a pass interference penalty that should have been called against the Colts but was not. The NFL officials cost the Steelers 3 points on that play.

There is too much precedence of failure on the part of their officials that they need to start making changes.

If you are looking to get a little bit of action on the games, then check out our sportsbook reviews for details on the safest places to wager online.

Starting and maintaining a business is challenging enough without the additional financial burden of hiring a web site expert to put your vision on paper. If you are starting your business on a “shoe string budget,” hiring someone to take your written materials to type a basic format, add a few pictures and charge you to edit what you tell them may not be sound money management.

It is not necessary to be a computer “wiz” to develop your web site. You do have to know your product or service and be able to follow directions. Even if you have a web site consultant, “hands on” content and presentation development will be your responsibilitythe buck still stops with you. Before you hire that web site expert, consider the following information. It may save you money and unnecessary waste of time.

One strategy is to utilize web site packages that provide software to enable you to select the number of pages needed, choose background color schemes, and will include “download” features that will identify various products and services you offer. These packages offer you control over content 24 hours, 7 days per week, as opposed to contracting someone at $450-$600 for initial development then $50-$75 per hour to generate the inevitable changes in content as you grow your business.

Although you do not have to speak an unfamiliar computer language to master the development of your business web site, you do have to know your product or service and a commitment to marketing and developing your business. Let’s take a look at the basics of web site development for a five (5) page site:

1. What do you want your visitor to see when they visit your site? Begin with “colors” for background and the printed words. Depending on the service or product, it will either be a soft gray background with black or maroon print or black or dark blue background with white print. Others may have pastel colors with soft print. Color selections are based on the product or message.

2. What information should the visitor see first? The Welcome page should be viewed as the same as the welcome mat at your door. Its content will convey the purpose of your business or service. Your welcome message can be developed using the executive summary section of your business plan. You are introducing the product or service and giving your visitor a brief overview of what they can find on the other pages of your site. You are letting potential customers know they are in the right place.

Remember, you have 15 seconds to capture your audience. Not unlike other personal presentations, don’t waste time on unnecessary words. Get to the point. Entice them to want to know more. Information on this page must be prepared by someone who knows the company.

3. Who are you? The “About Us” page is your “brag bag” opportunity. This is where you talk about business accomplishments and expertise, awards and recognition. You can also provide a brief overview of yourself (especially if you are promoting consulting services) or background and expertise of any partners or key staff.

4. What are you selling? Let’s take a look at the product or Service page. Here is your sales pitch opportunity page. Describe how your product or service will be useful to your target market. Why is it unique? Who will it help? Why should they purchase it? This page, more than any other, will be fine tuned on a regular basis in the beginning. Wording, pictures, headings, etc. may need to be adjusted and revised as you develop and grow your business. For this reason alone, control over your web site should be a paramount consideration.

Pictures are worth thousands of dollars. Invest in an inexpensive digital camera. Your ability to take pictures of your product and download to your site provides immeasurable savings of time, money, and aggravation in the long haul.

5. How can they purchase the product or use the services? The Contact and Order Page provides easy access to you or a company representativeessential to business growth. In this fast paced society, people still want to know they can communicate and receive immediate responses to inquiries they may have and gain clarity about the services or products they are purchasing.

The order page can include an Auto Responder (auto responder provides a section for automated responses to questions. The message is automatically sent to your e-mail). This is a great way to build your customer base and attract new customers while exchanging information and ideas. Including Auto Responders also suggests you care about customer opinions and concerns.

Investigate several e-commerce companies that provide merchant accounts so that people can buy immediately. Pay Pal is one free merchant on line service.

Be Mindful of Traps

After reading this article, you may feel challenged by the process of web site development. My caution is that you take each step a bite at a time. If you decide to contract with an independent web site consultant, make sure you have direct contact with this individual via phone or visit. Prepare a list of questions including clarity about the level of control you will have over your site.

What is the rate for additional and ongoing costs? Have the consultant detail, in writing, exactly what is included in the basic development package, how they charge for maintenance of the web site, and when does it begin (for some charges do not occur until the site is up and running; for others charges begin as soon as they have completed the design).

Be sure the final contract for service is in writing, providing a clause for both to terminate the agreement, with proper notice, without penalties for you. Ask questions! Ask questions! Ask Questions! The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask. The key is that you establish a comfort level before moving forward.

Theresa V. Wilson, M.Ed., CPBA (Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst) is a “Work-For- Hire” Freelance Writer and Success Management Training Consultant with over ninety bylines in several business, family and women online and print publications. Visit at http://www.writersinthemarketplace.org or Email at ACWritersgroup@aol.com