Students Of Success

Parenting Question

“After a turbulent 18 years of marriage, I believe my husband and I will be
getting a divorce soon. We’ve split up lots of times before (due to both his and
my affairs) and we’ve tried counseling, but this time I think it is finally
over. There is too much hurt and too much anger. Cliché of me perhaps, but I
have stayed because of my kids. I just want to know, how does divorce really
affect teenagers? I have two teens: a 14-year-old girl and a 16-year-old boy.”
—Soon-To-Be Single Mom

Positive Parenting Tip for Teenagers Dealing with Divorce

Dear Soon-To-Be Single Mom:

Bottom line—getting a divorce will rock your teens’ world.

Yet chances are your children have already experienced the negative affects of
your strained relationship to your husband. Yongmim Sun, assistant professor at
Ohio State, conducted a National Education Longitudinal Study with over 10,000
students and concluded that: “The negative effects that we associate with
divorce are actually evident in teens at least one year before the marriage has
ended…. It’s not accurate to say divorce doesn’t matter at all, but it is true
that much of the damage to adolescents has already occurred before the divorce.”
(Journal of Marriage and Family, August 2001).

So how will your teens react? There is no way to tell for certain, but generally
teens and pre-teens dealing with their parents divorce may become:

1. Angry and highly critical of their parents’ decision.

2. Depressed or withdrawn from both parents, while seeking stronger connections
with peers.

3. Disillusioned with marriage and feel rejected by one or both parents.

4. Better behaved—hoping that this will save their parents’ marriage.

5. Involved with risk-taking activities (i.e. skipping class, turning to drugs
and alcohol, becoming sexually active, etc.)

6. Withdrawn from one parent as a form of punishment—while taking the side of
the other parent.

Fortunately, you can mitigate some of these negative effects by:

1. Maintaining current family routines (as much as possible) and ensuring that
your kids have quality time with both you and your husband.

2. Resisting the urge to lean on your teens for support and instead seeking
counseling and the support of your own friends.

3. Taking a vow of silence whenever you feel compelled to speak ill of your
husband while in the presence of your children.

4. Ensuring that your teens have support from friends and family. Research
suggests that support from extended members of your family and community can
make a world of difference when it comes to having your teens successfully
survive a divorce.

5. Finding a counselor for your teens that they like and can confide in (school
counselors are sometimes useful to consult).

6. Continuing to expect respect from your teens and maintaining your current
household rules.

Divorce (and the lead up to divorce) puts a strain on everyone in the family. By
striving to make your divorce as amicable as possible, by finding support for
your teens and counseling for you, and by staying connected with your children
you will get through this—and so will they.

Kelly Nault, MA author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End,
Don’t Take Your Kids With You inspires moms to put themselves first—for the
sake of their children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to
want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her
free online parenting course here.

You are free to print or publish this article provided the article and bio
remain as written and include a link to http://www.mommymoments.com as above.

© 2005 UltimateParent.com - All rights reserved.

2004 was really a year when the whole subject of email and spam has been at the forefront of the minds of internet marketers.

The anti Spam legislation has had more than the desired effect. I think everyone hates spam, even spammers. I guess also that everyone hates spammers, except spammers, though they probably hate other spammers. An attempt by legislators in different countries to prevent the deluge of spam into Inboxes was to be expected. The spam itself had already spawned the spam filter industry, which has “flourished” this year. I put flourished in “” because flourishing gives the impression of health. Their balance sheets and profit and loss figures may be flourishing, I don’t know, but the email industry is not.

Spam filters were set up to prevent spam, not to kill perfectly genuine and good emails, from friends, lovers, publishers you have requested a newsletter from, or anybody else who is not “spamming” you. Some recent figures suggest a significant proportion of valid emails are not reaching their destination. Is that good? Is that what the legislation intended? No, it is it not.

People use filters in good faith, without, in most cases, having any idea how they work. They may be blissfully unaware that, in some cases, good email will not reach them. How much does that damage online business? How many business relationships are damaged by failure to respond to an email that was never received? How many personal relationships are damaged in the same way? Nobody knows. But if, for example, a marriage is on the rocks, one such incident could be the straw that broke the camel’s back.

Internet marketers in particular have been covering the subject an enormous amount in the past year. Some are even saying that email is dying. Well, dying is surely an exaggeration. Maybe those marketers want others to give up so they have the field to themselves. However, it is increasingly difficult for internet marketers to get their message, even if requested, to the recipient. They comply, in most cases, with the legislation, but the self appointed Spam Police have their own ideas of what email people should receive. To me, that is far more annoying than spam itself. It is a form of censorship if it snuffs out email that people really wanted to receive.

Is spam as a problem exaggerated too? Well, I have no figures on that, but in my own case it has never been more than a minor irritation. I have 3 websites with different email addresses on, which can presumably be harvested for spam email lists. One of those websites has been there nearly 2 years. So is my Inbox filled with spam? No. I get a few, but it is a minor irritation. Maybe I’m lucky, I have no way of knowing.

I do know that the people I expect to hear from do get their emails to me, but I have no spam filters activated. I have just never found it necessary. One problem I have noticed, though, is nothing to do with spam filtering. Once most marketers legitimately get hold of your email address, they start sending far too many advertising only emails. Even if they start off with one or a series of helpful emails, which you may have requested, it soon deteriorates into an ad bombardment. Recently, I opted out of the list of a well known internet guru for that very reason.

So, it is up to internet marketers to put their own house in order too. If they send out emails that people find useful, entertaining, reliable or profitable (preferably all 4), on a consistent basis, people will look forward to their good content. They will take the extra steps necessary to ensure the emails they want get through to them. In most cases, adding to the address book or “approved” list will do just that. Who will want to “approve” an email address that sends nothing but ads when the expectation was, originally, useful content. I think the average person would accept a reasonable amount of advertising, if it is relevant and is a small % of the content.

I cannot foresee that email will die, even as a marketing tool. But it could be in need of surgery, and it is up to all of us to learn the surgical procedures.

Roy Thomsitt is the owner, webmaster and author of http://www.change-direction.com , a new website in late 2004, about working online in a home based business. He has a background in offline advertising, with practical experience of working from home in marketing since 1995, plus 2 years of experience with online marketing. Professionally, he was trained as a management accountant and has substantial background in project management, implementing new office, accounting, computer and management systems.

There are hundreds of locations around the world that are simply excellent locations to enjoy. You will see that many of them are listed here. Others, like the favorite one that you have may not be. There are many unique ways that you too can enjoy the waters the world has to offer.

Consider Manitoba, Canada

The area is known as Land of Lakes that have served to produce many trophy fish. Both still and fly fishing pros love the location. In Manitoba, you’ll catch some of the best northern pike and they will give you a good fight too. They strike hard and fast on the Daredevil lure. You can use flies with a good amount of success. You’ll also find brook and brown trout, rainbow as well as perch and pickerel. Go in the spring or the fall for the best fishing vacation here.

Good Old Long Island, New York

Here, you’ll find Montauk Point. Some of the world’s top naturalists have come to the conclusion that this is the place to find the most fish in the world. The point is a glacial cliff and you’ll find tuna, cod, mackerel, marlin, striped bass and white shark here. It also features the oldest lighthouse in the states. An inside tip is to cast from the rocks below the lighthouse and you’ll get some of the best fishing out there. Although spring and fall are the best times to go, you can come during the summer too.

Wyoming, USA
If you are looking to catch trophy trout in the US, a vacation to Yellowstone National Park is a must. Slough Creek is full of trophy trout, as are other streams within the Park’s boundaries, and they are all stocked regularly. Streams and rivers outside of the Park also offer great fishing opportunities, as do the waters of nearby Idaho and Montana. Wyoming is home to 62 native species, including Arctic grayling, burbot, channel catfish, shiners, chub, several trout species, suckers, goldeneye, mountain whitefish, shovelnose sturgeon, and a wide variety of smaller fish.

The Florida Keys

The Florida Keys offer a wide range of fishing opportunities. People come all year round to catch them. In fact, Hemingway himself fished here. The waters are still as excellent as they were then too. You’ll find tarpin and bonefish in the Marquesas Islands. You’ll find blue marlin, King mackerel, sailfish, yellowfin, shark snapper, and a wide range of others here too.

Head To Hampshire, England

Head just outside of London to get some of the best fly fishing opportunities. Here you’ll find trout and Atlantic salmon. Check out the Itchen and Test rivers too although they are on a private island and you’ll need to pay to get in, they are excellent opportunities nonetheless. You’ll find trout fisheries here, too.

Try Missouri, USA

Go to the Ozark Mountains of Missouri. Here, you can catch bass under the limestone bluffs. You’ll find that the river itself has over two hundred different species including bass, channel catfish, sunfish, bullheads, muskellunge, walleye, shad, perch and trout. You’ll find more fish here than anywhere in the US.

Here are some tips for you.

Don’t take with you all of your equipment unless you really want to. You’ll find guide services will provide you with everything that you need.

They can also provide the necessary fishing licenses for you too. Get your information from here too. Make sure if you plan to go out of country that you are allowed to export and import the fish, though.

You can always ask other anglers where they like to fish. Some of the best locations for fishing are in those small, hideouts that are closely guarded secrets!

Niall is a keen fisherman always looking at new tools to help him catch more fish. Visit Fish Finder Review for more information and great deals to help you find a Eagle fish finder or other GPS and Sonar marine navigation systems. www.fish-finder-review.com

This article may be reprinted in full so long as the resource box and the live links are included intact. All rights reserved. Copyright Fish-Finder-Review.com

With the recent hurricanes in the southern United States the number of flood vehicles entering the market has skyrocketed. Many of these vehicles have been declared as salvage by insurance companies who have paid off the original owner of the car under a claim. There are steps you can take to protect yourself from buying these salvaged vehicles that have extensive water damage.

Many people may not realize they have bought a flooded car until they take it to get insured. They then find out that their agent can’t even issue them an insurance rate quote because of the salvage title on the vehicle. Since used cars are usually sold “as is” there is very little recourse the buyer has at this point other than to try and get the vehicle road-worthy and go through a length inspection process with the state motor vehicle bureau that is required for a vehicle with a salvaged title.

So how can you protect yourself from buying such a car? One of the easiest ways is to obtain a vehicle history report from a firm like CARFAX which tracks flooded vehicles and other types of damage. You can also do some detective work yourself on the vehicle if you have doubts. Look inside the engine compartment and see if there are any tell-tale water mark signs that might indicate high water levels. Next, check under carpeting to see if there is mold or any presence of water staining. Finally, inspect the electrical system thoroughly. This is where most water problems show up first as electricity and water are not exactly the best of friends.

You can protect yourself from purchasing a flooded vehicle by being a diligent consumer. If you suspect a car or truck has been water damaged just walk away from the deal.

Marvin Toller is a writer and internet publisher who likes to write about http://www.11-car-insurance.com car insurance as well as insurance issues in general. Check out his car insurance news and in depth information website http://www.11-car-insurance.com

Baby products are a huge market. However, these products are
soon disposed of after being used. Why not save some money and
get your baby products at huge discounts among your local yard
sales.

Get some friends together and check out your local yard sales.
Before you go, make sure you check the yard sale listings in the
newspaper to make sure you don’t make any unnecessary trips.
When buying baby furniture, make sure it meets current safety
standards. Yard sales often have many used cribs, rocking
chairs, and other baby needs that will save you over 50%!

Research before making any purchases

Invest in a What to Expect When You’re Expecting book when you
are pregnant. This series of books is quite helpful when it
comes to keeping your babies needs to a minimum.

Search the internet

Search for baby sites and sign up for specials. You’ll find that
you can receive many free samples of baby formula and other
supplies.

The advantages of cloth diapers: Cost is the number one benefit
to cloth diapers. You can use the same diapers for your later
children, or you can sell the used diapers to recoup most, if
not all, of your costs.

However, price is not the only benefit. Cloth diapers are also
much healthier for babies’ skin. Say goodbye to diaper rash.
They also benefit the environment. Each one is tossed back into
a load of wash instead of an overflowing landfill.

Don’t Get “Stuck on Stupid!”

Whatever your political bent, or your view of the American media, you’ve got to love the recent comments of Lieutenant General Russell Honore during the Katrina aftermath.

When interrogated by reporters about Katrina-related mistakes and miscues, during the immediate aftermath of Katrina and the pending arrival of Rita, the Lt. General fired back with one of the best “in your face” rebuttals in media history. “You guys are STUCK ON STUPID!”, he said, “…and I’m not going to answer those questions!” Then, as only great leaders can do, he shifted the attention to what could be done NOW… going forward. In one short phrase, he showed the insanity of a backward looking fixation in a time of crisis, and the importance of quickly learning from mistakes and moving on. If only we could instill that kind of thinking into our organizations and personal lives.

We, as a culture, waste a lot of time fixated on the past. This is a tricky topic, because in order to learn, we have to be able to look backwards. I don’t believe the Lt. General meant to suggest we not look backward. Rather, I believe, he intended to show us the art of WHEN and HOW we should look back.

Here are a few of my observations about backward-looking actions, and where that line exists between effective diagnosis and what the good General would call a “stuck-on-stupid” culture:

———————————–

1. When (and WHEN NOT TO) look backwards- the theme I believe was most central to the Lt. General’s comments was this: There is a time and a place for a backward looking assessment.

In a football game, assessments occur at various intervals- half-time, end of quarters, during time outs, in the huddle, and sometimes even right before the play during a “check off” at the line of scrimmage. But assessments and questions about fault or blame NEVER occur DURING the play. The few seconds it takes for the play to unfold is about execution only. How stupid it would appear if one of the sports reporters walked onto the field and began questioning the coaches and players in the middle of a particular play. In sports, we see that kind of on-the-field interference as unacceptable, but in other crisis situations (like Katrina), we don’t think twice about the appropriateness of it.

In business it’s even worse. We have management agendas, advisors and consultants, board politics, and a myriad of other factors all screaming their opinion about how the play should unfold. Let’s take a lesson from our sports brethren, and save those assessments for AFTER the play is run. There’s nothing wrong with good assessment. But let’s save them for a time when they’ll have real impact instead of being seen (appropriately) as a distraction.

One more quick analogy on when and how often we should look backwards. Think of the last time you drove a car. How much of the total time would you say you looked in the rear-view mirror. Most driving instructors will tell you that you should look up into the rear-view mirror about once every six seconds. That translates to about 15% …probably not too unreasonable a number to shoot for in the workplace.

———————————-

2. Are our comments focused on specific behaviors or root cause? A lot can be observed by the questions we ask during a review of a failed strategy or play.

There is a great story that is told about a man who walks down a street and falls into a deep hole. He does the same thing each morning, with each day producing little or no real insight. The first few days are spent asking “why me?” type questions. The next few days are spent getting out of the hole quicker and more efficiently. The next few days, he walks around the hole. It’s not until the last day that the man decides to take a different route altogether, eliminating his risk of falling into the hole entirely. For many days, we might say this man was “stuck on stupid”. But he finally learned to ask the right questions, and only then was he able to solve his problem.

———————————-

3. The “SO WHAT” Test- Early in my career, I had a boss that would frequently add the margin comment “So What?” to his review of various letters and reports written by his staff. It was his way of saying, “OK I hear you… and I get your point, but what is the implication, or conclusion I should draw ?”.

I’ve since applied this principle to much of what I do in business and life, and I believe this was one of the Lt. General’s key messages in his “stuck on stupid” rant. Assessments are great, as long as they lead to new learnings, AND a new way of doing business. Most of the time, if timed right, good assessments will lead to changed strategies or actions. But there are many cases (and you see them everyday) where the main purpose of an assessment is to assign blame or channel criticism. It’s those cases where the assessment is better left alone, at least temporarily. Again, you can always come back to it later after the play is run, or the game at hand is over.

———————————-

4. Setting a new bar (measure the future not the past)- One way to get “stuck on stupid” is to keep hammering away at a measure of metric that has failed you more than once. If that’s the case, its time to either change your approach to the problem, change the measure, or both.

On first blush, you might say that changing the measure seems to be taking our eye off the ball, or conforming the metric to fit your situation. But in years of studying performance, I’ve found that repeated failures typically mean that you’re not sending the right signals. That is, often you’re tracking something that is too distant from an individual or team’s accountability area.

Last week, I played in a “scramble” format golf tournament in which each player hits a shot, and the team selects the best of those shots from which to progress. Our team was composed of a long hitter (driver), approach man (for mid range shots), an “up and down” guy (for greenside shots), and a good putter. Each one of us excelled in a particular area. We’ve played these kind of tournaments many times before. But this time, we tried something different. We decided to assign goals for each category of performance, so that for example, the driver was responsible for # of fairways hit, the approach guy was responsible for greens hit in regulation, and so on. The impact on our collective performance was significant and noticeable (I wont tell you our net score but I will say it was a notable improvement), and far better than the occasions in which we focused only on the total score.

———————————-

5. Avoid the blame game / Reward (vs. punish) failures- this one is related to, but a bit different from #3 above, in that it deals with how you treat and reward accountable individuals.

In all of our organizations, we have those individuals who try new things, embrace change, and have a real bias toward action. Sometimes, improvisation is necessary, especially if the situation is very dynamic. And it’s in those cases where you need to reward quick decision making based on grounded assessments and learning.

There was an old adage years ago called “Go Ugly Early (and Often)”. Give me someone who learns and implements change quickly, versus someone who gets “stuck” in analysis of past performance. Looking back is good, but you’ve got to reward those who can also look forward and ACT. To me this is the essence of the Lt. General’s comments.

———————————-

Let’s face it, there’s something about the word STUPID that gets our attention. We saw it in Clinton’s campaign with the catch phrase “It’s the economy STUPID”. And while we scold our children for calling someone Stupid, none of us wants to be viewed that way. Why do you think we play the blame game so much? It’s all an attempt to not be viewed by our peers as the one who “dropped the ball”.

What we don’t always see, however, is that it is just as (if not more) stupid to “lock in” on failures and analysis of those failures without a corresponding focus on the timing of our assessments, the changes that need to result, and the speed with which we can then move on.

Let’s hand it to Mr. Honore for calling it as he saw it, and getting all of us motivated on what the future holds, rather than getting hung up on our past failures.

Author: Bob Champagne is Chairman and CEO of ePerformance Group International LLC, a privately held company specializing in performance management systems and solutions. Included in ePGI’s product portfolio are a wide variety of performance tracking, reporting, and benchmarking solutions delivered in an online and on-demand environment. ePGI’s services are utilized by over 50 leading edge companies across numerous industries and geographies, and are licensed by many high profile consultants committed to delivering world class PM solutions to their clients. Visit ePGI at http://www.epgintl.com/ or contact us directly at 973-343-2806.

Circuit Training & Circuit Training Routines

Circuit training routines are one of my favourite training sessions, whether for myself personally, or for clients. I use circuit training as part of injury rehabilitation programs, for conditioning elite level athletes, or to help my clients lose weight. I use circuits for just about everything.

I was introduced to circuit training routines by an exceptional sports coach by the name of Col Stewart. Col is one of those rare coaches who can take just about any sport, and devise a specific training program that always produces outstanding improvements for his athletes.

Col’s circuit training routines are largely responsible for the success of many of his world champion athletes. Including his son, Miles Stewart (World Champion Triathlete), Mick Doohan (World 500cc Motorcycle Champion), and countless others from sports as diverse as roller-skating, squash, and cycling.

Many other coaches are also impressed by circuit training and use it regularly.

Brian Mackenzie from Sports Coach says, “Circuit training is an excellent way to simultaneously improve mobility, strength and stamina.”

Workouts for Women state “circuit training is one of the best methods of exercising as it provides excellent all round fitness, tone, strength, and a reduction of weight and inches. In short, maximum results in minimum time.”

And another site referred to circuit training as “an ideal way to build versatility, overall strength and fitness, as well as to consolidate your mastery of a wide variety of physical skills.”

So what is Circuit Training?

Circuit training consists of a consecutive series of timed exercises performed one after the other with varying amounts of rest between each exercise.

For example, a simple circuit training routine might consist of push-ups, sit-ups, squats, chin-ups and lunges. The routine might be structured as follows, and could be continually repeated as many times as is necessary.

* Do as many push-ups as you can in 30 seconds, then rest for 30 seconds.
* Do as many squats as you can in 30 seconds, then rest for 30 seconds.
* Do as many sit-ups as you can in 30 seconds, then rest for 30 seconds.
* Do as many lunges as you can in 30 seconds, then rest for 30 seconds.
* Do as many chin-ups as you can in 30 seconds, then rest for 30 seconds.

What makes Circuit Training so good?

The quick pace and constant changing nature of circuit training places a unique type of stress on the body, which differs from normal exercise activities, like weight training and aerobics.

The demands of circuit training tend to prepare the body in a very even, all-round manner. I have found circuit training to be an exceptional form of exercise to aid in the prevention of injury. Circuit training is one of the best ways I’ve found to condition your entire body (and mind).

There are many other reasons why circuit training is a fantastic form of exercise, and what most of these reasons come down to is flexibility. In other words, circuit training is totally customizable to your specific requirements.

Circuit training can be totally personalized. Whether you’re a beginner, or an elite athlete, you can modify your circuit training routine to give you the best possible results.

A circuit training routine can be modified to give you exactly what you want. Whether you want an all-over body workout, or you just want to work on a specific body area, or you need to work on a particular aspect of your sport, this can all be accommodated.

Also, you can change the focus of your circuit training routine to emphasize strength, endurance, agility, speed, skill development, weight loss, or any other aspect of your fitness that is important to you.

Circuit training is time efficient. No wasted time in between sets. It’s maximum results in minimum time.

You can do circuit training just about anywhere. One of my favourite places for doing circuit training is at some of the parks and playground areas near where I live.

Circuit training is a favourite form of exercise for the British Royal Marine Commandos because they tend to spend a lot of time on large ships. The confined spaces means that circuit training is sometimes the only form of exercise available to them.

You don’t need expensive equipment. You don’t even need a gym membership. You can just as easily put together a great circuit training routine at home or in a park. By using your imagination, you can devise all sorts of exercises using things like chairs and tables, and even children’s outdoor play equipment like swings and monkey bars.

Another reason why I like circuit training so much is that it’s great fun to do in pairs or groups. Half the group exercises while the other half rests and motivates the exercising members of the group.

The main types of Circuit Training

As mentioned before, circuit training can be totally customized, which means there are an unlimited number of different ways you can structure your circuit training routine. However, here are a few examples to give you some idea of the different types available.

Timed Circuit
This type of circuit involves working to a set time period for both rest and exercise intervals. For example, a typical timed circuit might involve 30 seconds of exercise and 30 seconds of rest in between each exercise.

Competition Circuit
This is similar to a timed circuit but you push yourself to see how many repetitions you can do in the set time period. For example, you may be able to complete 12 push-ups in 30 seconds. The idea is to keep the time period the same, but try to increase the number of repetitions you can do in the set time period.

Repetition Circuit
This type of circuit is great if you’re working with large groups of people who have different levels of fitness and ability. The idea is that the fittest group might do, say 20 repetitions of each exercise, the intermediate group might only do 15 repetitions, while the beginners might only do 10 repetitions of each exercise.

Sport Specific or Running Circuit
This type of circuit is best done outside or in a large, open area. Choose exercises that are specific to your particular sport, or emphasize an aspect of your sport you’d like to improve. Then instead of simply resting between exercises, run easy for 200 or 400 metres. You can even use sprints or fast 400 metre runs as part of your choice of exercises.

Some Important Precautions

Circuit training is a fantastic form of exercise, however, the most common problem I find is that people tend to get over excited, because of the timed nature of the exercises, and push themselves harder than they normally would. This tends to result in sore muscles and joints, and an increased likelihood of injury.

Below are two precautions you need to take into consideration.

Firstly, your level of fitness. If you’ve never done any sort of circuit training before, even if you consider yourself quite fit, start off slowly. The nature of circuit training is quite different to any other form of exercise. It places different demand on the body and mind, and if you’re not used to it, it will take a few sessions for your body to adapt to this new form of training. Be patient.

Secondly, you’re warm-up and cool-down are crucial. Don’t ever start a circuit training routine without a thorough warm-up that includes stretching. As I mentioned before, circuit training is very different from other forms of exercise. Your body must be prepared for circuit training before you start your session.

For more information on how to warm-up and cool-down properly, review the following articles.

Warm-up: http://www.thestretchinghandbook.com/archives/warm-up.htm
Cool-down: http://www.thestretchinghandbook.com/archives/cool-down.htm

About the author:

Article by Brad Walker. Brad is a leading stretching and sports injury consultant with over 15 years experience in the health and fitness industry. For more articles on the prevention & treatment of sports injury, subscribe to The Stretching & Sports Injury Newsletter by visiting http://www.thestretchinghandbook.com/.

In 2002, while taking a break at work, I found myself in the
middle of a discussion about abortion. There were about five
women joining in the discussion.

A few of the ladies were pro-choice; the others (including
myself) were pro-life. One of the women in particular (I won’t
use her real name, but I’ll call her Nicole) was extremely
pro-choice.

Nicole voiced her opinion about pro-choice with fervency in
attempts to convince everyone- abortion is a woman’s right. She
explained to everyone how women must have the right to choose
what they do with their own bodies. I was about six months
pregnant with my third daughter at the time, so of course, I
disagreed with Nicole. I told her I thought abortion was wrong.
Still, Nicole made the arguments about women who are raped or
women who couldn’t afford to take care of a child. I considered
Nicole one of my closest friends, so I finally gave up and
stopped arguing with her. I was surprised to hear her views on
abortion though.

Three months later, when it was time for my baby to be born,
there was a tragic accident. My baby was entangled in the
umbilical cord and delivered as a stillborn.

A few days later, we had her funeral at my church. Several
people attended the funeral including a police chaplain, three
pastors, teachers from my other daughters’ school, many old
friends, relatives, and several people from work. I think Nicole
had to work that day, because she wasn’t there.

Returning to work about a month later, (I took off work about a
month to recover from the loss) I saw Nicole again. At break
time, Nicole and I went outside (even though it was cold and
rainy) to “talk”. I relived the events of my baby’s death for
her by explaining the details. When Nicole heard the story of my
heartbreak, she opened up with tears, and confessed she once had
an abortion when she was seventeen years old. When I asked why,
she said, “When my mother found out I was pregnant, she said
-Nicole, You Are Not Going To Keep That Baby”. Because Nicole
was living with her mother at the time, she submitted to her
mother and went to a clinic to have the abortion.

Nicole then told me doctors had advised her since her abortion,
she would never be able to have another child. The abortion had
permanently damaged her body.

Nicole was now twenty-seven years old and wanted a child, but
knew in her heart it was impossible. I tried to encourage her,
prayed for her and advised her to seek God.

About three months later, upon arrival to work, I noticed Nicole
wasn’t there. I asked some of the women if they knew where she
was. To my astonishment, the women (who were noticeably excited)
informed me Nicole had called into work. They said she had just
found out she was pregnant. They also said she was rejoicing and
giving praises to God, but at the same time experiencing some
morning sickness.

Overjoyed, I remembered Nicole pouring her heart out to me that
cold day during her confession. I believe God heard her
confession that day, gave her forgiveness and healed her body
all at the same time. When the due date arrived, Nicole gave
birth to a healthy baby boy.

Nicole’s story reminds me of the scripture from 1 John 1:8-9
that says, “If we claim to be without sin we deceive ourselves
and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is
faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us
from all unrighteousness.”

For small Internet retailers, drop-shipping is one of the best innovations since sliced bread. How else can a start-up offer a wide variety of products and convince customers that they have a fully-stocked warehouse—while investing virtually nothing in inventory or warehousing? Before you jump right onto the drop-shipping bandwagon, however, there are some pitfalls to avoid.

While a quality drop-shipper is truly a dream come true for the Internet retailer, there are plenty of painful pitfalls to avoid. Things can get embarrassing and costly in a hurry when a drop-shipper:

• sends products out late
• forgets to process your orders
• sends out poorly packaged products
• double-bills your credit card for orders on a regular basis
• provides cheaply made products and/or shoddy workmanship.

A Matter of Credibility

In addition to the above drawbacks, many customers are not very impressed when they find out you retail drop-shipped products. This is especially the case with the rustic log furniture I sell on the web. Many phone customers ask if we make the products ourselves, or are “merely” drop-shipping.

They are relieved and impressed when they find that we manufacturer, finish or pack most of the log furniture we sell at our warehouse. We sell to a lot of people with expensive vacation homes, and quality is of utmost importance. It’s always easier to testify to the quality of furniture when you have seen it yourself, and we are able to offer a more unique line by going to Amish suppliers whose products aren’t sold elsewhere on the Internet.

Advantages of Drop-Shipping

With this said, there are still some sizeable advantages to drop-shipping. As the volume of our orders grows, it becomes more and more difficult to package all of that furniture. Fortunately for us, our largest supplier is only two miles away and we have a pretty good deal going: we finish all the log furniture they want finished, and they drop-ship the unfinished furniture. So they make it, we finish it.

That means if somebody orders unfinished furniture, it can go directly from the factory. This might have made me nervous about quality control at one point, but I have developed a high degree of confidence in our log furniture manufacturer. In the five years I have been associated with them, they have never let me down. They fill orders with a high degree of quality and accuracy, which makes our job easy.

Choosing a Drop-Ship Partner

Unfortunately, not all drop-shipping companies are as reliable as the one I have found. This is why it pays to do your homework before choosing a drop-shipping company. If you align yourself with fly-by-night operations, your business will most likely suffer as a result. If you are wildly successful, which you no doubt hope to be, a small start-up may not be able to manufacturer or ship product fast enough to meet your needs. A drop-shipper that is unstable as a business may be happy to take your cash but fail to fill orders on a timely basis.

Any business who drop-ships your orders will affect your reputation as a company one way or another. As a result, it’s important to make sure any drop-shipping companies you partner with meet the high level of customer service and quality control standards you set for your business.

Copyright 2005 Log Cabin Rustics

Cari Haus is webmaster for http://www.logcabinrustics.com, an online retailer of quality log furniture.