Why executive coaching services are expanding and how best to
use an executive coach.
Why use an executive coach?
Nothing to be ashamed of
Unfortunately, for years, the idea of using an executive coach
was looked on as a weakness. Somehow, the higher up people got
in a company, the more responsibilities they were supposed to
handle without any outward sign that they weren’t superman or
superwoman.
It wasn’t even supposed to be the image of the swan - serene and
calm on the outside, but paddling like hell underneath. No,
people were supposed to look serene and paddle serene as well!
Fortunately, these days things have moved on a lot. It’s not
considered a weakness to seek support. At least in some
companies. There will always be those that think the stiff upper
lip is better than admitting that not only people can’t do it
alone, but it’s a whole lot better if they don’t.
All the ‘big people’ have their own coaches, mentors, ‘gurus’,
counsellors or wise person. Indeed, having an executive coach is
nothing to be ashamed of.
Pressure ‘they’ put on you
You are a key member of your company. People rely on your
leadership, interpersonal skills, judgements and decisions and
expect you to continually ‘come up with the goods’.
As a matter of course, you are called upon to give keynote
speeches, chair crucial meetings, develop strategy and people,
focus on succession planning, handle crises and deal with the
internal and external pressures that go with your position.
Part of the deal is that others do expect you to handle all that
and more with grace, professionalism, energy and enthusiasm. And
then there’s the rest of your life, too: all that work-life
balance stuff.
Pressure you put on yourself
Not only that, staying under duvet may seem very inviting,
especially if you, too, set high (if not impossible)
expectations for yourself. Unfortunately, staying under the
duvet is not an option most of the time.
Putting additional pressure on yourself is not uncommon.
Somehow, the more responsibility people are given, the stronger
their sense of obligation. Now, that’s not a bad thing. It’s
good to be really committed and responsible.
However, the downside is that people give themselves a really
hard time when they don’t live up to the expectations they’ve
set themselves. And those expectations are usually way higher
than any their companies set. They really get to a point where
they can’t see the wood for all the trees they themselves
planted.
Good executive coaching should put all these pressures into
perspective and give you tools and additional skills to cope
more effectively with everything that’s thrown at you.
Benefits of using an executive coach
It’s a place to offload
When you use an executive coach, it’s a wonderful opportunity to
offload your concerns, issues and complaints without fear of
making a career-limiting move.
Your coach offers confidentiality and objectivity
These are qualities everyone could use in their life. You want
to know that what you discuss with your coach stays between the
two of you. At the same time, getting an objective perspective
on your situation is invaluable.
You will feel more motivated and enthused
When someone is totally on your side and guiding you through
some of the rockier times in your working life, energy and
enthusiasm are released. It’s very reassuring knowing someone is
there.
They will give you unbiased practical support
Without an axe to grind, your executive coach won’t be biased,
won’t have the same prejudices and expectations others within
your company may have. They will also be able to offer you
practical suggestions and options because they may perhaps see
your issues more clearly than you are able to.
They bring outside expertise
A good executive coach should have an array of expertise and
skills that you may not have. You can expect to have your own
knowledge and skill base developed the more you use a coach.
They aren’t part of your company
This is key. An executive coach who isn’t part of your company
won’t be caught up in the politics, intrigues, pettiness or even
just the day-to-day routines.
They bring an outside perspective
Following on from the above point, the fact that they aren’t
part of the company means that they will see everything with
‘untainted’ eyes. In turn, they simply won’t see the things the
way you do and will be able to offer you fresh perspectives to
help you tackle problems more creatively.
Your confidence will increase
With someone providing unconditional support, fresh perspectives
and who is there just for you, your confidence can only
increase. Having an executive coach is like having your own
private cheering squad (even if a discreet one!).
You’ll get better at what you already do well
A good coach should help you develop what you’re good at. By
giving you a variety of skills and techniques, your qualities
and talents will grow exponentially.
Leadership and executive coaching
Leadership vacuums
We definitely hear this a lot from our various clients, how
there is a big leadership void, how they don’t make leaders like
they used to, how things would be better if they only had good
strong leadership within their organisations.
We’ve written quite a bit on leadership (link here to leadership
docs?), but it’s important to look at leadership in the context
of executive coaching.
We agree. There are leadership voids in many organisations.
There isn’t however, a lack of people who could fill those
leadership voids. The issue seems to be more about how people’s
leadership skills and potential are perceived.
Owning up
We think this is one of the best indicators of a good leader:
owning up to mistakes and showing vulnerability.
It really is all right to make mistakes. You can’t and won’t
know it all and you will screw up every once in a while -
everyone does. When you do, try not to make excuses, point the
finger of blame at someone else, sweep it under the carpet and
hope it will resolve itself on all its own or justify your own
behaviour.
Humility and maturity go hand in hand. When something goes awry,
take responsibility for what went wrong and use your executive
coach to debrief. The more you can let your coach know what has
been going on for you, the better able they will be to give you
relevant, practical suggestions to ease you through the rocky
times.
Then you’ll be exhibiting true leadership behaviour.
Being a role model
People need role models
Great, even good leaders need to be role models for the people
around them. Others look to you for guidance, wisdom, surety and
confidence. They rely on your dependability. They want to know
you’re handling it all.
So what if you aren’t? Can you still be a role model?
Of course you can.
How executive coaching can help
This is exactly where executive coaching is most needed. In
these kinds of situations you can display true leadership
behaviour just by having an executive coach.
First, you’ll be demonstrating that you, too, need support,
which in turn gives permission to the people around you to
acknowledge they might need support as well.
Second, you’ll be letting others know that you aren’t
invincible. The knock on effect of that could be that people
will be more aware of just how much you have to cope with.
In turn, if chosen well, your executive coach can be one of your
role models. Because we can guarantee that your executive coach
isn’t invincible either!
Role models aren’t indestructible. And if you want to be a great
role model, let other people know it.
Choosing an executive coach
Who’s right for me?
The spectrum of executive coaches and executive consulting
services is enormous. The executive coaching services on offer
are seemingly endless. Different people offer different skills
and it’s really important for you to be clear about what you
want from an executive coach.
If you aren’t clear what you want when you start, then that’s
one good way to find out if you’ll be able to work with someone:
by talking with you even for a brief time, a good executive
coach will be able to help you pinpoint exactly what they could
do to support you.
But there are some essentials no matter who you use.
Your executive coach has to:
Be trustworthy Be hugely experienced in dealing with a variety
of people and issues Have your best interests at heart Be
empathetic Have really good counselling skills; be direct and
clear Get to the point and give practical suggestions
And most important:
You do have to like them Whatever anyone says, if you or your
company are paying for executive coaching support, you
absolutely must get on with this person.
Some companies may have a group of executive coaches they know
and use. If you don’t like any of them, find your own!
Having an executive coach could be a major relationship in your
life. You may use them only once or decide that you want them
supporting you in an on-going role. You may decide to have a
‘check up’ or ‘MOT’ once a year.
At Impact Factory, those of us who do executive coaching have
all kinds of coaching relationships:
people we see once who have an intensive, powerful and in-depth
session people we see regularly who like to know someone is out
there just for them people with whom we have a less formal
arrangement - they use us as and when things arise and they need
an outside eye to help them However and whoever you use,
executive coaching could make a significant difference to how
you feel and what you do.
